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What New Year Resolutions?

A few homilies to consider as the new year starts its unstoppable journey :-

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

To have authority you need to work out where you stand – and stay there.

If you think education is too expensive – try ignorance.

Stress is the confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the daylights out of some clown who desperately needs it.

To any woman the three little words she really wants to hear is not “I Love You” – but “I was wrong”

And ode to the symptoms of getting a year older:

Everything hurts,

What doesn’t hurt,  doesn’t work,

The gleam in your eye is the sun shining on your bifocals,

You feel like the morning after – but you haven’t been anywhere.

Your children begin to look middle-aged,

A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge,

You have all the answers – but no one asked the question.

You look forward to a dull evening,

You need glasses to find your glasses,

You turn out the light for reasons of economy rather than romance,

You sit in a rocking chair but  can’t make it go,

Your knees buckle but your belt won’t,

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your house is too big and your medical cabinet too small

You sink your teeth into a stake and that stay there,

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Burghwallis